Office Space

8:45 am:  Arrival at the office.  Instead of taking the elevator to the 9th floor, room 901, I always walk up the 9 flights of stairs so as to avoid the crowds.  I can get more exercise this way as well.  As soon as I enter the office, I go to the water cooler and grab the card with my Chinese name on it, “Qiao Hao Xue” (it means “Bridge Good Study” if translated literally).  I insert the card into the machine that clocks me in as having come to work on time.  Work begins at 9:00 am.  I’m one of the first people here.  Besides myself, Little Han is the only other person in the office.  She’s from Hubei^W Province, 24 years old, and probably the hardest working person in the office (besides the accountants who sit in the back room calculating numbers all day long). 

9:00 am:  Work begins.  I turn on my computer and begin to check my e-mail.  There’s a load of e-mails from my mother.  I don’t have any specific assignments today from my boss, so I take my time in responding to her e-mail, as well as the one from my younger brother, Jonny.  During the time I take to read and respond to e-mails, I scrunch up my face and put on my best, “I’m doing something very important” expression.  No one disturbs me.  I check the water heater that is by the punch cards.  The yellow light turned on signifies that hot water is now available, and I can add it to my glass of Pu'er^W tea leaves that I am anxiously waiting to drink.

9:57 am:  My boss, Zhao Jing, strolls into the office without a care in the world.  He begins working on cleaning up the fish tank behind my desk.  The tank has three large goldfish inside of it–Larry, Curly, and Moe.  Larry is only happy swimming upside-down.  I think he swims in this fashion so that he can get a good view of himself in the mirror on the floor of the tank.  Or perhaps he does this in order show off his swimming prowess to Curly and Moe.  I don’t know.  Do fish think about these things?  Zhao spends the next 30-40 minutes cleaning and repairing the tank.  Larry never makes a peep.

10:15 am:  I refill my glass of tea with hot water for the first time.

11:03:  I ask Zhao if he knows of a good place to buy cross-training shoes in Beijing.  I just bought some Timberland shoes at a store when I was back in L.A. in February.  Went to a store in the Hollywood area and bought the first pair I tried on.  The thing with new shoes is that, a slight problem in design is sometimes difficult to notice when trying them on.  Slight problems in new shoes can become more and more frustrating over time.  I didn’t notice while in the store, but I’ve begun to realize that the right shoe is cut a little too high.  This error in design causes the lip of the shoe to rub against my ankle bone ever so slightly whenever I walk.  It’s just a little bit irritating; however, over time I notice it more and more.  When I tell Zhao about the problem, he thinks of a solution cheaper than purchasing new shoes.

“We should just beat the lip of the shoe down so it doesn’t come in contact with your ankle bone anymore.”  Sounds like a good idea to me.

He walks over to a cupboard and searches for something for a few seconds.  After finding just the right hammer, he puts the shoe down on one of the nice chairs that customers sit on when they are discussing travel plans for a trip to America, Korea, Singapore, etc, and starts pounding the shoe into the chair.  The sound it makes is a little offensive to the ears, so he finishes his work as a cobbler on the floor and beats my right shoe a few more times until he’s satisfied.

A job well done, he gets up and chants a short children’s song in English that his son has taught him (this song, has become sort of an anthem for the two of us):

“Circle cirle, round and round…triangle, triangle, ding ding down…” 

I put my shoe back on my foot.  Not bad, Mr. Zhao.  Not bad at all.

11:15 am:  I refill my tea glass again.

12:00pm–Lunch.  Because everyone goes downstairs for lunch at the same time, I almost always avoid taking the elevator to the Level Sub 3 cafeteria.  I usually eat lunch with Little Han and Sister Liu.  Sister Liu is from Hengshui^W in Hebei province.  She is a single mother with a 10 year old daughter.  Her former profession was that of a history professor, and she often gives me Chinese history lessons during those moments in the office when we have no pressing matters at hand.  (I get these lessons a lot lately).  Today my lunch consists of one bowl of rice, a bowl of tofu and fungus, a small cup of yoghurt, and a bowl of Chinese porridge to drink.  It costs me 8 RMB.

12:35pm:  I take my nunchakus^W and go to the third floor where there is a little outdoor open courtyard.  There is a small group of office workers playing badminton together.  I’m not sure where they work.  There are so many offices in this building.  The courtyard is surrounded on four sides by the four office towers–A, B, C, and D.  I work in office tower D.  I practice nunchakus for the next 25 minutes, managing not to hurt myself or others.

1:00pm:  Return to the office and fill up my glass of tea leaves with hot water.

1:15pm:  Another co-worker, Honey, tells me that she sometimes wishes she was born a boy.

1:45pm:  My tea glass is empty.  Time to fill it up.

2:05pm:  All quiet on the Western front.  There’s not a sound in the office.  Little Han is hard at work trying to deal with passports and visa issues for Chinese tourists traveling abroad.  I stand up to check on Sister Liu who sits at the desk behind me to my right, expecting to find her buried deep in some book concerning history or English grammer.  She is out like a light, her head resting on her left shoulder.

2:30pm:  I step out of the office to make a pit stop in the restroom.  Drinking too much tea.  As soon as I enter, I’m greeted by a cloud of smoke.  There’s almost always someone smoking in here, and I can be sure to find a friendly cigarette waiting to say “hello” from the bottom of the toilet.

2:37pm:  I re-enter the office only to find my tea glass empty.  Time to fill ‘er up.

3:10pm:  Zhao calls me over to his office and tells me to write an e-mail to Delux Rent-a-car, the company that tried to cheat us during our last trip to the U.S. and overcharge his card.  He sheds new light on this developing story by providing me with a copy of the receipt from Deluxe on which they forged his signature, as well a his wife’s!  I go back to my desk and begin to look at the best methods of making a formal complaint concerning forgery.  Finally with a tangible task at hand, my fingers work the keyboard like an Italian chef kneading pizza dough.  I decide to first make a complaint to the Federal Trade Commission.  I type the complaint, submit it, and send it off.  Whew!  A little bit exhausted, I decide I need to take a break.  But first thing’s first; need to fill up my glass of tea leaves again.

4:05pm:  This is the home stretch, the final hour.  After work I can go home and practice my accordian.  I decide to rest my eyes from looking too long at the computer screen and study Chinese for the next half an hour.

4:45pm:  Zhao Jing lights up a cigarette and puffs away.

4:55pm:  I take my tea glass to the restroom, washing out today’s tea leaves and throwing them into the waste basket.  Rinsing the glass as thoroughly as possible, I make sure to get every last bit of residue out so that my glass is ready for work the next day.  I’m already looking forward to filling up my glass in the morning.

5:07pm:  I gather up my things and head to the punch-in-clock next to the water cooler.  After grabbing my card, I clock out for the day and head for the staircase.  This time Little Han joins me, not wanting to wait for the elevator, either.  She walks behind me, and I hear her knee ligaments pop once, twice, as if signaling the end to another busy day in the office. 

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